'Castle' review

The notion of midseason replacements isn't groan-inducing for nothing. Sometimes even genius ideas get so distorted in the intestines of the TV-making process, the finished product can't help but stink. But by then it's far too late to put on the brakes, and they pop up in late winter, much like "Castle" does this week.

Another forensic drama starring two dissimilar leads with unconsummated chemistry, "Castle" combines the expertise of crime novelist Richard Castle (Nathan Fillion) and the procedure of detective Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) to solve murders while he shadows her for research on an upcoming book. He's a chauvinist, and she has a gun. This stuff basically writes itself.

"Castle" no doubt draws inspiration from romantic detective hits of yore like "Moonlighting," but if it's looking for comparisons, it will have to settle for less. Try and remember another, more short-lived cop series—the Lori Loughlin and Tony Danza vehicle "Hudson Street," where a total lack of chemistry and a critical mass of hackneyed puns led to more unintentional humor than you could possibly hope for in just one series. (The many scenes where Kate and Castle sit at the station, talking about the case of the week, are often so pitiful, you half expect "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-style commentary to kick in.)

The buzz: The ever-charming Nathan Fillion has got to be the biggest reason to watch "Castle," which is nice, because he's the lead. But it's also bad, because his track record for killing freshman TV series is somewhat spotless. He's previously lent his kiss of death to "Miss Match," "Firefly" and "Drive."

The verdict: "Castle" has so little going for it, it almost seems cruel to formally acknowledge that it shouldn't be on television. So in the interest of diplomacy, how about a polite "no thank you" and best wishes to everyone involved?

Did you know? Stana Katic briefly portrayed one of the many eighty-sixed "Heroes" heroes. She played Hana Gitelman, an Israeli soldier who could go inside computers… or something.

"Castle" premieres Monday, Mar. 9, at 10 p.m./9c on ABC.